A bunch of people about to get screwed.

Have you ever been to an amateur comedy club? Nope? Neither have I. Although I’d imagine buying a new MacBook Pro from Apple is a lot like going to one. You pay an overpriced amount of money to sit in on some great skits (conceptually) but the delivery is always terrible. That’s what owning a new MacBook Pro is like, well at least for anyone who also owns a 30″ Apple Cinema Display. You buy an expensive cinema display, then you upgrade your existing MacBook Pro (which I might note COMES with a standard dual-dvi port) to a new pretty model with new features — only to find out you’ll need to wait 4-5 weeks for a Dual-DVI Mini connector. To add insult to injury, it also costs $99. Wow Apple, way to bend me over and have your way with me.

Best (valued) fuckin' standard zoom in the world!

The bond between me and my Tamron SP AF17-50mm F/2.8 XR Di-II LD Aspherical (damn that’s a long name, Tammy for short!) runs deep. Whenever I bring my camera with me somewhere, my little Tammy comes with me — no questions asked. It’s the best standard zoom lens out there for the money, period. Sure it’s professional grade big brother the Nikon Nikkor 18-50 f/2.8 is nice too, but it’s 4 times the price and way too big to lug around everywhere.

So naturally, I was devastated when I picked up my camera out of my trunk one day to find that the focus ring on the Tammy was jammed up and the front plastic cap was loose. Shivering out of great sadness and despair like a coked out Eskimo with nothing to live for I ran (okay, I probably drove) to the closest camera repair store.

Thankfully, the Tamron ALSO comes with a 6 year warranty, I sent it to Japan to make peace with the higher robotic beings that live there — and 4 weeks later I got a call from the camera repair store saying that my precious was ready. I skipped (okay, I probably drove again) back to the camera store and immediately stuck it onto my Nikon D200, squeezed the shutter trigger and filled the buffer with sharp, beautiful, contrasty RAW image files.

I think I may need some help. Professional help.

Dan Vu Quoc and Nicholas Moline at Mashup Camp 6 with the iPhoneLocator

That’s right, Mashup Camp is coming back to Mountain View! I attended for fun last year competing with the iPhoneLocator application on Facebook. It was an application that pinged a Facebook app every 15 minutes and updated your location.

Unfortunately I only placed 4th out of 24 — just out of reach of any prizes. However this year there are 22 prizes! That means someone could potentially get 1st AND win 22 prizes (probably not). I’m going to be the Michael Phelps of Mashup Camp and win every prize possible. People will point and wonder if I’m some sort of android.

What the hell was Apple thinking when they released the iPhone 3G with a clear plastic gloss on the back? I remember opening the damn box, removing the safety plastic, breathing on the phone and it immediately developing scratches. I’ve seen ice cream that’s harder than the iPhone. So I decided to get a case — but I hate cases! Your choices are limited to 2 or 3 clear protectors. All of them are applied by washing your hands, getting them soapy wet, getting piece of film wet with soap water and applying it to the iPhone. Of course, the next three hours are spent cursing at the sticky film as it either slips off or gets stuck in a horrible misalignment.

I bought two of them, because I’m a baller like that. The Best Skin Ever and the InvisibleSHIELD. Lets cut to the chase, the Best Skin Ever, really is — the best skin ever. Here’s why:

• The BSE is the same exact material as the InvisibleSHIELD and provides the same amount of protection.
• The BSE’s cutout makes it much easier to apply the skin at the corners and has some amount of adjustability.
• The BSE is $8 + shipping versus $25 for the InvisibleSHIELD.
• The InvisibleSHIELD’s film has an odd texture to it that makes your iPhone look like it has a bad paintjob.
• The InvisibleSHIELD takes anywhere from 10-14 days to arrive, versus 5-7 for the BSE.
• Both make your iPhone stick to glass.

That’s all you need to know. Get the Best Skin Ever.